Family gene's are sometimes so strong, you watch those sad programs on TV where people try trace their biological mom or dad, or siblings. For years these people have tried and sometimes the parents are the one's who can't get over the sadness or regret, and go looking. They're left in limbo, to scared of the rejection and the hurt, wondering!
I am so greatful my story is nothing like that. I had two wonderful parents who most of the time loved me. Like most kids I had my moments of mischief, like the time Dad caught me smoking, gave me a whollipping I never forget. Then Mom found the packet of cigerettes, told dad and I got another whollipping. How dumb could you get!!Anyway most of the time I was good, never really got into any mischieve.
I remember people asking Mom "Is that your child? she looks nothing like you" well Mom said she got sick of the questioning, so told them what they wanted to hear "No she's adopted" that normally shut them up. Well a seed was planted in my small head, and until today I sometimes wonder ... I do look like my fatherside of the family, so just maybe there is a grain of truth there somewhere. Jokingly I mentioned this to my mother on the last visit to South Africa, when once again her neighbour uttered the same words, and she gave the same reply jokingly ... I asked are you sure my aunt is not really my mother.
Always had a special place in my heart for my aunt, a secret wonder if she is not my real mother. We had a little family gathering to catch up with my Dad's brother and sister, I hadn't seen them in 18 yrs, wow that's along time. Dad passed away in Sept 1999. We had a great time reminising. My Aunt dropped me off and while we were driving, we chatted away happily. I realised how very much alike we were, even looking alike. How strange is that! But When it came to saying goodbye, it felt like a little piece of my was torn apart, leaving a hole in my heart. Gave her such a big hug, poor woman proably had no idea why.
Oh how I wish I was brave enough to have asked that question, would I just have made a fool of myself. I am 50 something what does it matter anyway.
Around the Cottage in Janurary - This Christmas season, I had my halls decked extremely early, and when the holiday passed, I was ready to say toodle-doo to what all of a sudden felt like ...
2 days ago